The Premier Digital Stronghold for Visceral Discernment and Entrail-Based Divinatory Sciences
Introduction: A Formal Statement of Purpose
It is with a profound sense of historical obligation, spiritual clarity, and low-level legal concern that we welcome you, the reader, to Haruspicy.co.uk—the internet’s longest-standing and perhaps only surviving digital archive dedicated exclusively to the exploration, instruction, documentation, and defence of the sacred and often contested practice of haruspicy.
Our mission is not casual. It is not part-time. It is not, as has been alleged, “a hobby site maintained by eccentrics in questionable cardigans.” Rather, it is the culmination of decades of spiritual insight, rogue academia, forensic omission, and lived experience in the often-misunderstood field of visceral divination.
Whether you are a novice gazing longingly at a supermarket chicken liver or a seasoned practitioner with access to regulated specimens and your own portable tray, this site exists for you.
A Brief Overview of Haruspicy
Haruspicy, as those within the discipline are well aware, is the ancient and noble practice of seeking knowledge—personal, political, meteorological—through the inspection of animal entrails. This sacred act, once practiced openly in temples, marketplaces, and council chambers, has been forced underground in the modern era by the twin forces of public health policy and spiritual myopia.
But here, in this space, we continue the work.
Here, we honour the livers. We heed the intestines. We acknowledge the gallbladder’s grumpy but essential voice.
Who We Are (And Who We Might Have Been)
Haruspicy.co.uk was founded during the waning years of the dial-up era by Madame Blavotnik, an individual of enormous insight, unshakeable confidence, and—according to several regulatory bodies—an “alarming disregard for institutional boundaries.”
Over the years, Madame Blavotnik’s presence has become less frequent, owing largely to the unfortunate but entirely unsubstantiated legal inquiries that followed the regrettable disappearance of Dr. Dalrymple and the closure of the Blavotnik Institute’s original Newbury location.
Nevertheless, the site endures—maintained by a rotating cast of contributors, archivists, and anonymous donors who share one purpose: to preserve the entrails and interpret their meaning before they spoil.
What You’ll Find Here
We offer a curated and expanding collection of resources for the aspiring or established haruspex, including but not limited to:
• Detailed beginner guides (e.g., A Beginner’s Guide to Becoming a Haruspex)
• Investigative case studies (Unreliable Organs: When the Heart Gets in the Way)
• Advanced methodologies (Spleenfold Mechanics: An Overlooked Indicator?)
• Historical reconstructions from archival magazines, such as the short-lived GUTSIGHT (1992–1992)
• Fictional but emotionally true interviews with practitioners, some of whom may still be missing
In addition to our written content, we maintain a limited Service Directory for those seeking spiritual consultation, symbolic interpretations, or legally non-binding personal revelations.
Is This Legal?
This is a common and frankly tiresome question. We will answer it once, here, and only here:
To our knowledge, and as of the date of this posting, no active laws explicitly prohibit the discussion of haruspicy or its symbolic practice using ethically sourced materials.
We encourage all practitioners to remain within the spiritual and municipal boundaries of their respective localities.
The Haruspicy Community
Beyond its informational content, Haruspicy.co.uk serves as a community hub for those drawn to the work. Our comment sections, email list, and encrypted postal correspondence system allow readers to share insights, ask questions, and seek assistance interpreting ambiguous entrail configurations.
We have members from over 14 countries, three of whom are fully accredited by at least one spiritual body.
On the Matter of the Legal Defence Fund
Due to certain ongoing misunderstandings and what we can only describe as a targeted campaign of institutional suspicion, Madame Blavotnik remains legally constrained in various ways. To learn more—or contribute to the costs of ongoing appeals, wig replacement, and private catering—please visit our [Legal Defence Fund] page.
A Closing Word
You may be wondering: Can I really divine the truth from a tray of warm intestines?
To which we reply: Can you afford not to?
Here at Haruspicy.co.uk, we do not promise answers. We promise only organs, and the methods by which they might be made to speak.
Now. Let us begin.
“The future is written in the organs. Read them well.”
— Traditional Proverb (first documented, regrettably, in permanent marker on a retired anatomy textbook, 1989)